


A Penny For Your Thoughts

by LaMariposaRoja



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-25 01:51:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14966552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaMariposaRoja/pseuds/LaMariposaRoja
Summary: Dean is driving back from a hunt and an unexpected guest swoops into the Impala for a friendly chat.





	A Penny For Your Thoughts

Impala – Night 

DEAN is seated in the Impala, driving down a dark highway, listening to a soft rock station and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. He is alone, until a rush of wind signals the entrance of a certain angel.

CASTIEL  
Hello, Dean.

DEAN  
Gah!

The car takes a quick swerve to the side before DEAN is able to rectify the mistake. His eyes are wide and his breathing is heavy for a second before his expression morphs into an annoyed scowl. 

DEAN  
Cas! What the hell? I told you not to sneak up on me like that.

CASTIEL  
My apologies.

There is a tense pause before DEAN final huffs and breaks the silence. 

DEAN  
Was there something you wanted? Or wanted to tell me before I drive into a ditch?

CASTIEL  
No.

DEAN  
No? No – what does that mean?

CASTEIL  
No as in, there is nothing urgent to report. For the moment, at least.

DEAN  
Oh! In that case, what the hell brings you here then, Cas?

CASTIEL takes another pause, looking out the passenger side window before continuing the conversation. 

CASTIEL  
I was bored.

DEAN  
You were bored.

CASTIEL  
Yes.

DEAN  
Okay. So?

CASTIEL  
I wanted to talk.

DEAN scoffs and rolls his eyes, exaggerating his annoyance further with a head roll. 

DEAN  
Come on man! Can’t you be all girly with Sam? I’ve been driving for thirteen hours and I still got about five more ahead of me to get to Bobby’s. If you can’t tell, I’m not particularly in the mood.

CASTIEL sits quietly in the passenger seat, continuing his lingering gaze beyond the car’s interior. To anyone else, the angel would seem to be completely at peace sitting there, but DEAN could see from his peripheral vision the slight press of the man’s lips, accompanied by a pair of squinted blue eyes. 

DEAN  
What’s eating you?

CASTIEL  
Nothing’s eating me. I’m an angel. I rank above all the flesh-eating monsters on Earth.

DEAN  
I’m not talking about the food chain here. I’m asking you what’s up? You seem a bit – I don’t know, preoccupied.

CASTIEL  
How would you know?

DEAN  
I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking you to tell me. You wanted to talk, right? So, go ahead and talk. Not like I can go anywhere at the moment.

CASTIEL shifts his focus from a passing billboard to a half-illuminated DEAN. He notices DEAN’s raised eyebrows and quick glances as he continues to drive down the dim roadway. 

CASTIEL  
I was thinking about Anna.

DEAN  
Anna?

It had been a while since ANNA – the fallen angel/human that eventually found herself mingling with the Winchesters (and mingling with DEAN) before having her grace restored and inevitably being killed for her rebellious actions – had been brought up. A long while, DEAN reminisces. 

DEAN  
What about Anna?

CASTIEL  
I feel horrible about her; about my part in her death. It wasn’t fair.

DEAN  
Yeah, well. Stabbing someone who was trying to help you in the back usually never really sits well, believe it or not.

CASTIEL gives DEAN a dirty look, juxtaposing the nonchalant expression on the human’s face. 

CASTIEL  
Dean, I’m trying to reconcile for my actions and your snark is not helping.

DEAN  
Alright, look – I’m sorry. You’re trying to reconcile or whatever, but is it actually going to fix anything?

CASTIEL hesitates for a second. 

CASTIEL  
You don’t think talking will help?

DEAN  
You got a spell that can raise the dead?

CASTIEL  
No.

DEAN  
Then I’d say no. But hey, what do I know? I’m just the guy who represses his feelings and all that sissy crap because I know that it’s not gonna do me any good. So I’ll say it again; if you want someone to talk to, go talk to Sam.

Another silence befalls the conversation, the sound of Baby’s engine being the only noise pervading the tense air with a soothing purr. CASTIEL shakes his head, perturbed, but obviously still presently sitting shot gun. 

CASTIEL  
And you have the gall to call my kind a “bunch of dicks.”

DEAN  
I heard that you son of a bitch.

CASTIEL  
As you were meant to.

DEAN  
You know what!

DEAN pulls the car over to the side of the road, flipping on the hazard lights heatedly before opening the car door and jumping out into the crisp night scene. 

CASTIEL  
Dean! What are you doing?

DEAN  
What does it look like?

DEAN begins to walk away from the black car currently holding an angel that looks a bit smitey.

CASTIEL  
DEAN!

CASTIEL calls after the hunter, slamming the door with enough power to leave it with a permanent amount of stuckness from now on, much to DEAN’s future dismay. 

DEAN  
Leave me alone, Cas.

CASTIEL  
Dean, why are you running away from me? Am I really such bad company to be around?

DEAN trudges on, ignoring the angel currently pestering him from a few feet behind. 

CASTIEL  
Dean, I’m trying to understand! I’m trying to do things like you say-

DEAN  
I don’t recall ever telling you to bug me with your problems.

CASTIEL  
I’M TRYING TO BE HUMAN!

DEAN stops in his tracks at the sudden outburst. 

DEAN  
What?

CASTIEL  
I’m trying to understand what it might feel like to be human. I’ve been alive for much longer than you can even comprehend. Observing the Earth. Watching the humans; fascinated by them, but never truly having the opportunity to interact with them. To be among them. I’ve wanted that for so long, but never followed my whim for fear of disobeying my orders in heaven…

DEAN’s expression becomes less and less abrasive the longer he listens to CASTIEL speak. 

CASTIEL  
All my time and all my being has been devoted to serving the will of God, Or at least, what I believed was His will. I have never been able to act on my own impulses. To do something – not because it is commanded of me, not because it leads into some greater purpose and eventually means something – but because it is none of these things. I want to experience human conversations because they are so complex and unique and not at all stilted or like the efficient dialogues that I’ve experienced with the angels.

CASTIEL’s voice begins to lower to a near whisper as he speaks. 

CASTIEL  
Thinking about Anna; she got to live the life I wish I had. I see now that I was jealous. Envious of her. But I was convinced that she was just an abomination – a traitor. And with my misplaced hubris, I killed her.

CASTIEL pauses in his rant for the moment, allowing the last few words to sink in. DEAN feels a little overwhelmed by the whole thing but stays quiet and complacent nonetheless. He gives a small nod, indicating that he is still listening. 

CASTIEL  
My sister taught me what my conflicted sentiments were – doubt. She introduced me to my first real step towards a path that I could lead for myself; not because I was told to. And now she is gone and I am left without a guide.

CASTIEL looked DEAN straight in the eye for the next part, keeping his tone low, but increasing the intensity ever so slightly. 

CASTIEL  
But I realized that I am not alone. She may have shared a similar history with me, but she is not the only being that can understand my position. She may have introduced me to my first true emotion, but you and your brother have introduced me to another…

DEAN licks his chapped lips contemplatively and waits for the angel to continue. 

DEAN  
And what’s that?

CASTIEL  
Hope.

Another pause. This one more brief than the others, but somehow much more impactful. 

CASTIEL  
You and all your kind inspire hope within me for many different reasons. But with all hope, as I’ve come to understand, comes vulnerability. I accept this. And I accept that I am going to have to come to terms with more truths about my brethren and myself and how different we are from humanity. But I am certain that I do not want to do it all alone. I can’t. I won’t.

DEAN continues to stare, more in awe than previously. 

CASTIEL  
I would appreciate talking to you more. You and your brother – you are the only one’s I have right now to guide me now that I’ve started down this path, shunning myself from heaven. And I don’t regret it. Not now. But I…I still don’t know what I’m doing.

CASTIEL’s words hang in the open air for a minute. Then another. Then another before Dean is finally able to pick his jaw up off the pavement and use it to form words for a response. 

DEAN  
Wow….Well, Cas…That’s quite a lot.

CASTIEL looks away, a dejected look befalling his features. 

DEAN  
But I get it, man. Really! It can’t be easy for a guy like you – hell for a being like you – to go against your own nature like this. But hey, I’m proud of you for trying. Or wanting to try, at least.

CASTIEL  
Dean, you don’t have to pretend to want to talk. Forget what I said-

DEAN  
Whoa. Whoa. Come on, man! You can’t ask me to just forget something like that. That shit was deep!

CASTIEL tilts his head, unsure on whether it was meant as a good thing or a bad thing to have his spiel labeled as “shit” and considered to be “deep”. 

DEAN  
And…well, like I said earlier – I’m not the best with expressing my own emotions, but if you really want someone to help ease the confusion a bit…well fuck, Cas. You’ve earned a human conversation and then some with all the help you’ve given me and Sammy.

DEAN takes a step forward, reaching out to lay a hand on CASTIEL’s shoulder, gripping him in solidarity. 

DEAN  
I’m glad you’re on our side, Cas. You mean a lot to us. You’re more than just a comrade in arms – you’re a friend.

CASTIEL eyes widen a bit, and he looks touched by the single word. 

CASTIEL  
Really?

DEAN  
Hell yes.

CASTIEL smiles. 

CASTIEL  
Thank you, Dean.

DEAN  
Anytime, Cas.

The moment lingers for a bit in a comforting atmosphere. But the moment soon turns a bit awkward for DEAN, who quickly pulls his hand away from CASTIEL’s trench coat. DEAN rubs his hand behind his head and begins walking back towards the car. 

DEAN  
Well…not anytime-anytime. Reasonable, you know? Like now – I’m kind of tired and still a bit occupied with having to drive for so long. So, I can’t—what I mean—

CASTIEL chuckles. 

CASTIEL  
I understand, Dean. I’ll try to find another time when you aren’t as cranky from driving.

DEAN  
I am not cranky!

CASTIEL  
Thank you for listening, Dean. I’ll let Sam and Bobby know you’re on your way.

And with that, CASTIEL is gone. 

DEAN  
Goddamn angels!

DEAN grumbles to himself as he slides back into the driver’s seat. Situating himself behind the wheel, DEAN feels a bit of his frustrations ease away, especially as Baby’s engine begins to hum softly. DEAN takes a second to look to the empty passenger’s seat next to him. He looks out the window and up towards the night sky briefly before playing it off as if his intention was to adjust the mirrors all along. Once satisfied with the mirrors and radio settings, DEAN turns the impala back onto the empty highway and drives on into the night.


End file.
